Unemployment

Last time I was unemployed, it stretched on for 11 months. It was miserably dreary towards the very end, much like how the skies are today. The first 3 months was more than welcome, considering I was terribly burnt out from being overworked and the holidays had come 'round so it was nice to spend time with family. However the remainder of that time trying to sort out a jumble of feelings and thoughts from my self worth/place in the universe to how the Yankees/Devils were doing to my God it's 5pm and I've just gotten up where has the bloody day gone?! Sometimes I try to remember those days and honestly I'm not sure if my brain had switched off to preserve power or currently my brain is burning power just to hide it from my consciousness. I however remember feeling bone penetrating weary with myself or the world or life. It's the sort of weary that you can't sleep away. Did I mention I'm saying this in my head with my poor imitation of an UK accent?

It's been 3 months since my demotion in position but promotion in social life. We used to laugh how an AFOM promotion was a demotion in the hospitality industry. One becomes their job, complete pity since one should never align oneself (self worth or otherwise) with something that would never appreciate the sacrifices you make and for paltry pay at that! The first month was uncomfortable, note understatement. I was sleepy all the time trying to readjust my sleep schedule. I had gotten annoyed with people who said I should've just quit and wouldn't that have been lovely if not for the whole paying for things bit of living. A person who could've been trusted turned out to be an egotistical opportunistic narc that wanted me to requisition a larger front desk so we could all fit with his massive ego. And you know me and egos, back up all your talk with actual skill and if you want to say something inflammatory about me, best say so to my face. The little balding shit. And button up your uniform shirt, no one wants to see chest hair and please stop talking; it just shows how socially awkward you are. Your speech is littered with embellishments and incorrect presumptions about your coworkers. And before you, LBS, say that Yvette was brave for quitting her job before getting fired unlike myself who is just hanging around how about you figure out the full picture first. Considering that shit blew off Leo on his LAST day in the USA because he's got a family to support and bills to pay, one should surmise people stay on board for a paycheck. I am good at my job, I'm not perfect and occasionally I am great. LBS would never reach my level simply because people who think they're better than everyone else, over a mere shit title no less, never are. To lead, you must first learn to follow. So. Shut. Your. Gob. Douche.

Where was I before I vented about that shit? Oh yeah... Furthermore the new manager acted like everything was an emotional personal offense to him and was befuddled as to why he was receiving so much resistance. Like feigning ignorance to the situation you went into would actually help your cause, ridiculous. And for a fantastic 2 week stretch, the beast below was running some sort of witch hunt making clear that being unhappy or voicing what she construed as rebellion versus staff morale concern was dealt with in a manner that had everyone wishing we had human resources. It's really frustrating having to deal with people who think they know better. Instead of using their cunning for business success (although used for personal success), a ridiculous amount of energy is wasted showcasing she's the woman with the power. I hope everyone bloody quits on her though I sincerely doubt she'll learn any sort of lesson regarding treating your staff. She's that stupid.

Back to the Yankee game. Tired of looking at the screen and my fingers are oddly cramping. Bottom of 8th, 4-4 vs Orioles in the Bronx. I got a list of to do before my vacation that hasn't seen the light of day. Literally. It's overcast. :P

100th & back to the rat race

how apropos, I return and it's the 100th post. fantastic. coincidences being contrived and all that.

anyhoot. It's not like I haven't been blogging on occasion here and there on the other one but life [and by that I grudgingly mean work] engulfed me yet again. I forgot what I learned from the last place; let's recap.

-It never pays to be nice. If I try to be too concerned about keeping people happy by granting their requests, giving an ear & voice to their gripes about performing their job responsibilities etc etc...I am pretty much the only one who ends up not being happy.
-I have a ridiculous work ethic or respect for the position I hold. If I'm responsible for making sure the desk is covered, if it means I have to cover the whole bloody thing I'd do it. With a smile on my face no less and a wicked hate growing in my heart. The latter is unfortunately also a truth. This is the part where I dislike myself and in turn start to resent everyone for inviting the murderous monster back into my soul.
-You give people an inch, they will take a mile. Human nature. I wish people would really grow out of the entitlement thing. Being there doesn't mean you're entitled to be selective about which rules and responsibilities you should adhere to because it doesn't suit your wants. Alas, I think until the end of time people will always try to get over something or get away with something. Comeuppance! And by that I mean, giant asteroid to wipe out humanity. Or hand of God. On a side note, youth really is wasted on the young. Talk about squandering your time! You do not know everything, you will never know everything, nobody ever does and while I appreciate your passion and energy about things you're interested in, please don't try to shove it down my throat like it's the truth.
-Unless you're working towards an end game of say, being GM or owning your own property, middle management in the hospitality industry is pretty much a demotion in life. There is no love (one can't get a thank you from above or below, trust), no glory (your peers will take credit for your ideas so put everything in writing or email witnesses), and no money (because we're only a 65 room property and we don't generate revenue like a larger hotel, amazing you can tell me that with a straight face when your $8k bonus just came in the mail. you madam are a dirtbag). And oh! the hours... Let me tell you, I'd shut up with half this sh!t if I got home at 5pm. The most insidious part of being middle management is you're so overworked and underpaid, you develop learned helplessness AND you've no time or energy to go on interviews to free yourself from it all! Brilliant!
-I need to find another job.

I did learn a few new things but were old truths.
-You can never anticipate how a person will react.
-A decent reliable employee doesn't mean s/he doesn't have something against the whole regime. Let's face it, kooky VG was reliable but busting a nut on the sales manager's chair was a rather graphic way of expressing his distaste for how the whole place was being run.
-People can't change their situation if they don't believe they can.
-Some people really are soft headed.
-Arrogance is a disability, unless you're young and white. In which case, you'll probably get promoted eventually. But over my dead body.

And...not in any category. But the French, they revolt and have an argument for everything.

Thanks for the welcome back.

See to your more visual counterpart at brokenformation.tumblr.com

peace!