new players

not that I have any business looking at new mp3 players, on account of no money, but I have been window shopping. my little red nano keeps crashing on me & while it's not totally annoying it's disappointing considering all the hype with how fabulous iPods are. maybe that's just it, it's just hype. anyway...
I've been scoping out the new iRiver clix gen2 which is like having a small TV in your hand. the screen looks awesome and the controls seem user friendly enough. I can't stress how the screen looks sharp. either that or my display settings are too bright. I like that there's no visible buttons per se and how smooth the overall units looks. streamlined so to speak, nevermind the red border on the 8gb model. it's got all the other goodies that iPods don't have - FM radio, in line recording, built in mic, etc. truthfully though, I never really used those features when I had my other iRiver. an iRiver I loved, all blue and black with it's touch strip in the middle.
the other contender on the market is the Creative Zen, no other name danglers, simply Zen. this one is tiny compared to their Zen M or Vision or whatever it was called. on a sidenote, I read somewhere they're not making those models anymore. while the Zen only comes in 3 capacities - 4gb, 8gb, 16gb - it come with an expandable SD slot. for that alone, Zen would win. yes you can get the new iPod video nanos but can you put more stuff in it. honestly, one can buy the 4gb Zen and buy a handful of SD cards - the floppy disks of now - and be quite happy. of course, it comes with the standards of FM radio, etc like above. with the 4gb model reasonably priced on the creative labs website @ $129, you can't get a better deal.

this concludes my stint as a reviewer. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a new mp3 player this Christmas. of course, if the iPhone manages to stick 3G on that sucker and expandable memory [a girl can dream but I'll take one or the other ;-) ] I'd get that. an all in one device is much preferable. but about my beloved BlackJack, which by the way completely stalled much like the blue screen of death on PCs a few weeks ago, what would I do with it? I had to pull the battery out! pleh... oh yeah, Dawn bought a crimson ds Lite. now I have to go get one too so we can play together. hahahaha

well I'm off to watch Bionic Woman then clean up my hard drive. after all that, I've only got 11gb free on the old drive. time to spin up the key. good hunting!

10/08 1:29pm

it's my friday & i'll cry if i want to

my God, i'm glad my week is over at work. i forgot a few things again & i'd love to follow up if i knew what it was that i exactly forgot. i actually escaped pompeii...err the hotel at 11pm this evening. only to discover that no one was home. good thing i called tay otherwise they would've never known i was coming home early. he and my brother were trying to watch some boxing match, and sisters & giant were still at the ru game.
i ended up rushing the last hour before work since i decided to watch the end part of legends of the fall. that is a damn good movie. but i still got to watch the giada-bitch make her fab italian dishes. is this what life is really like? ever feel like everything's so damn pointless??

i was talking with heather today, took a breather from the front desk. her mommy passed away in february we were discussing the messier facet of grief. you know, the crazy ass dreams of hurting people. or the constant daydreams of how everyone we love look laid up in a coffin. or how you want people to just go away because i guess it's just too loud with the noise in your head and outside noise. sometimes you just want to be left alone. i'm not really too keen on therapy since i can't even talk to myself about the sh!t bothering me so why would i tell some stranger. but don't they always say it's easier to talk to a stranger, spill your guts? plus i don't want to be commited for being sad/mental. mama would laugh at me for being so dumb! lol. she would too. she's the type of mother who if you gained weight from freshman 15 would call you fat. because hell, you *do* look chunky darling. she's still the nicest woman i know. plus i told her that calling me fat was damaging to my emotional growth which she frowned at [because it wasn't a jest, just statement of fact & me being affected was me buying into american vanity culture] but stopped calling me fat anyway. ... oh yeah, talking to heather. we should be exempt for the next year until we're not so frakkin messed up. yes we have our significant others, hurrah! but we were laughing about how sometimes we wished we were dead and our counterparts would get offended and it's really not personal. we just wanted to walk out and play in traffic some moments during our day. because work really really friggin sucks and there's a huge VOID in our home life. and she got all these tattoos b/c she couldn't feel any pain and maybe, just maybe cutting yourself would get a blip on the radar. and really, i'm just SO tired. but i still can't sleep, i read tons of stuff online just so i don't have to hear the riot going on inside, neurons firing in all sorts of sequences, and i moderately don't mind the stupid long hours at work because it's even less time i have to spend in this horror. but hey the family's around at least. although i can't help feeling blue since amy called and said her mom was helping her with the baby.

who the frak am i gonna ask? who's gonna hover around me while i fuss over the baby? i'd go slit my wrists except it's not professional to have marks on your forearms.

feel free to talk to me world! cuz it's scary in my head.

The worse part about being upset is having no one to talk to about it.

10/04 4:09pm

from the roof of the hotel, impromptu tour stop during our safety comm meeting. larry let me & jess smoke lol! too bad platinum is in the way, otherwise there'd be more of the hudson.