fresh air

Well we've been locked her all day doing a whole lot of nothing productive. It's funny I tell myself that I'll get better every day and be less of a lazy ass but when it comes right down to it, 5 days out of the week I run myself ragged at work for no appreciation or recognition so on my days off I couldn't give 2 fraks til Sunday what's happening in the outside world. Except for shopping...

Ok, I've restrained myself from buying a new cell phone because really the BlackJack is a perfectly fine phone and I just have to remind myself it they improve the iPhone with 3G & mms [or was it voice dialing?] that I'll get that instead. No need to spend 400 smackers 2x for something I'm going to use for the same function. So fine, happy with my Samsung with it's 3G websurfing and Starbuck scowl background. Now, jpm and Kuya need to update their phones if I can persuade them to just put it on my tab.

Last night I dreamt about Heather Dennis; ridiculous as I have not seen her since my senior year at RU. I did try finding her afterwards but it's a big big world and all I can say is she's one of those cool people you meet in life. As the day wore on, most of the minute details have faded. But I remember going down escalators to some info kiosk and then going back up. I think Heather and I were taking a trip. To where, who knows? But I remember her all smiles and witty sarcasm and how she delivered sentences with calm hilarity. She's good people, too bad I can't find her. Like Kristy Celen. Those two girls I regret not knowing how to find. Last I heard from Kristy, she was moving to Colorado with Ted.

We should get out more. I should do laundry. I should've cleaned my room. I should deposit my paycheck. I should email work about the stuff I need to figure out. I should send out my resume. I should get an eye exam. I'm gonna go get my socks and have a smoke, if Kuya has one to spare.

Ma would be annoyed we're doing this. I keep thinking she paid a high price to teach us a lesson in taking care of myself. But I can't help but squander this year in my misery. But I promise I won't cut myself today or let the cinders of the cigarette burn my arm for that matter. But forgive me if I cry myself to sleep.