determination?

I was in B&N on 5th Ave the other day, on a quest to find a Miquelrius journal. You know me & blank books; I'm really picky about them. I have a small red one that's really great because you can throw it in your bag & since it's good quality, won't really break down. I figured I should get the larger version & B&N was where I bought the red one. I was seriously considering ordering it from Spain directly, something I would not have relished doing but hey... obsessions are just that, irrational. Seriously, my head gets hot when I think about journals and blank books. Add that to reading about electronics!

Anyway... what was I talking about?

Oh! So I'm perusing through the aisles on my way to the check out [I did find the journal, Tim wants one too which means I should get one for Dawn as well, only fair we all match] and I spotted a red cover book titled "Change or Die!" And I had laughed out loud as an initial reaction. However upon closer inspection, it occured to me do I have what it takes to make the change when it really needs to happen? Do I have the determination to keep my focus, keep my cool, and just know that all the frustration/annoyance/undoubtedly anger that will result in making a conscious change would be all for the better?

Maybe. Yes?

Today I did manage to restrain myself from buying anything except for that Miquelrius spiral notebook [ostensibly for the Spanish language learning I am about to embark in] and dinner at Johnny Rockets for me & the siblings. And I did do my laundry today. I'm trying to ease into things instead of going at it cold turkey style in my life choices. Some of the allowances I've made, one can still eat Doritos. I will eventually move on to something better but really I like crunchy things and yes I know I could just do so with carrots & peanut butter, both tasty and healthy. Plus I do like said combo. Other things I should quit cold turkey, my v. bad smoking habit. Giant is going to kill me for this... but last week when my body felt like shutting down from what seemed to be flu like symptoms, I not only went outside without a jacket [to be fair it was warm that day] I had a cigarette. And by God! I frakkin felt better. Would you believe that bs?! Frak! So yeah, smoking goes. I'm actually equal parts amazed and disgusted I felt better after smoking.

So to cap it off... crazy for journals. Doritos ok for now. Smoking v. bad, must go.
And I should get to sleep as the sun will rise soon enough. I fell asleep on the couch waiting for Dawn to come out of the bathroom so I could get my toothbrush. Ruined my night's rest. Note to self, when waiting for something and sleepy already do not throw blanket over oneself and curl up on the couch. Not good waiting strategy!